Category Archives: bi-sexuality

Doggin is Swingin is Bi-curious is what?

Posted on by Standard Respond
Home Is Where the Hate Is

Home Is Where the Hate Is (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Things I don’t understand…

Poster for the film Swingers

Poster for the film Swingers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is a swinger called a swinger?
Back in the old, old, old days…swingers were found at swing clubs…Good to know. These coupled persons agreed that sex was sex was sex and continued on swinging from protruding limb to protruding limb.
Swingers are out however Dogging is in. Now you have Swingers taking their sexual triumphs out of the secluded private bedroom and onto the street.  Dogging is a form of out in the open for the world at large to see, public displays of sex.
Swingers are generally heterosexual! But from the looks of things…they are willing to walk a long and sexual mile to give a stranger a smile.
Of note, men called Paul and women called Catherine are the people most likely to swap sexual partners, a poll suggests. Good to note. My sister’s middle name is Catherine…I wonder if that has any deeper meaning than the obvious.

 

Is there really such a thing as bi-curious?
The term bi-curious implies that the individual has either no or limited homosexual experience in the case of “heterosexual” individuals or no or limited heterosexual experience in the case of “homosexuals”, but may continue to self-identify as bi-curious if they do not feel they have adequately explored these feelings.
This seems like a bunch of bullshit to me. However, I feel better knowing the term is being phased out by the young adults of this god forsaken land.
We are no longer to refer to someone as ‘oh, that’s just Paul…he’s no longer a swinger or a dogger…he’s bi-curious!’
If we are as politically correct as mandated by the laws of social media; proper identification is required.  So yet a new and improved term from a not so new and improved generation:
‘Paul…no, he’s not gay or bi-curious or a swinger or a dogger. He is heteroflexible.’
Again, sounds silly. And, heterosexual sounds like a very difficult yoga position.

What is a lesbian tendency?
Lesbian tendency? WTF? I never understood this.

I have a tendency for the following:
1. Using my right hand while I give someone the bird.
2. Chewing my tongue when I concentrate
3. Walking the dog when he has to go the bathroom
Tendency in its true definition means to lean towards one particular characteristic. Wouldn’t Lesbians and their tendency…just qualify as, Lesbian?
Again, strange and hard to figure out these fascinating labels and terms of injustice.
New and Avant-garde term for a woman with lesbian tendencies-

She is a twatter!!!

…Really, you don’t say?

For that matter, what truly defines, A-sexual?
Finally, we get to the clincher. The most absurd and abstract and abnormally fun term I have ever heard. And, still one I don’t quite grasp with my blonde TENDENCIES!
Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction towards the opposite sex.
This new old not sexual but really is, term,  has somehow made reappearance this century due to online chat rooms, online communities and blogs.
After exhaustive research, I’ve come to realize what I kind of knew all along. Those persons suspected of being A-Sexual take themselves far too seriously and need to get laid!

***Food for thought…why does Windows continue to upgrade on my computer. I don’t want it to. I postpone the joy as much as I can. Yet, it eventually happens. Possibly a conspiracy?

the Princess and the Lesbian

Posted on by Standard Respond
Cover of Still Life With Woodpecker, echoing t...

Cover of Still Life With Woodpecker, echoing the design of the Camel cigarette packet (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Conversation between a lesbian Lioness and a misguided by bad karma waif…current day:
Lioness:
You do not love me. You do not know what pain is! I cannot sit idly and watch as your sponge like inertia fills with society’s ideas of right or wrong!
Waif:
Duh! What does that mean…I have to stop and Google every time we argue. Just tell me…will you leave the other for me?
Lioness:
How and why would I take part of my soul…the deepest part and turn it into a fashionable date for you?
Waif:
Enough already…I’ll just go and be by myself. That’s how it was meant to be. Maybe I could volunteer to rake all the waste from the earth for VISTA!

Conversation between a princess and an outlaw:
“If I stand for fairy-tale balls and dragon bait–dragon bait–what do you stand for?”
“Me? I stand for uncertainty, insecurity, bad taste, fun, and things that go boom in the night.”
“Franky, it seems to me that you’ve turned yourself into a stereotype.”
“You may be right. I don’t care. As any car freak will tell you, the old models are the most beautiful, even if they aren’t the most efficient. People who sacrifice beauty for efficiency get what they deserve.”
“Well, you may get off on being a beautiful stereotype, regardless of the social consequences, but my conscience won’t allow it.”
“And I goddamn refuse to be dragon bait. I’m as capable of rescuing you as you are of rescuing me.”
“I’m an outlaw, not a hero. I never intended to rescue you. We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

There is never any use in putting out a helping hand when the help wanted sign has been taken down!

Ambien/Annie the C., Gracie Williams Freebush

nothing like an undisciplined and untamed animal

nothing like an undisciplined and untamed animal

An Unclean Woman in the Hand…

Posted on by Standard Respond
still waters need to be stirred...at least twice a day

still waters need to be stirred…at least twice a day

So, as summer progressed, not quite a year ago. A following and routine had transpired my dull and mundane job of reviewing bed breakfast items for a poorly run newspaper…
My once un-chaotic and patented life became transfixed on the HOMOPHOBIC lesbian undercover as my real life boss.
What was a gal to do? After all and pay attention to the details, this is how I saw things without rose-colored glasses on:
-Book about to be published, no real genre or plot for next middle of the road offering from my unpolished mind.
-Constant disdain for those who turn the worlds of others into their playground with their vain attempts of being ‘cool’.
-Never a follower, I had always stayed to the thicket and managed to veer off the road when it came to life.
-Un-politically correct in a liberal politically correct sort of way, forty years of trying to make Bless the Freaks a common household term and disavowing those with silver Ben n Jerry Ice Cream Scoops up their mindless souls had led my intentions and conflictions.

aint' much of a girlfriend...never seem to get along.

aint’ much of a girlfriend…never seem to get along.

Yup, I had been ready for the plight of the flight of the anti-hero and non avenger Ambien/Annie Grace.
Hard as it was…it really was not all that difficult to set the ball of bias formed into a twenty-two year old stout frame, rolling. The ‘edgy writer’ caught the fray of the apron string Ambien/Annie could not let go. And, well, as the saying goes, I sat back and enjoyed the ride.
The sex? Well, it was no surprize the young lass had turned other admirer’s to stone. She had no rhythm and certainly, her romantic side seemed like a bad nursery rhyme.
First time, the boss’s desk at work. Had there been any concern for ‘getting caught in the act’? Nope, I was with the boss.
Obstacle? Just one and I suffered with that particular ’pre pubescent pain’ for five months…Our young and fearless leader had only known one form of sexual position…masturbating herself into a frenzy.
One sided fuckin’ is really and quite naturally for the birds. But for the sake of the storyline I endured a lasting and constant lump in the middle of the throat. Akin to wanting to throw up but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.
The first session with the dog whisperer Ambien/Annie Grace and her companion Beckett Couvillion the third-overbred rich dog, just about knocked the wind out of my salient sails.
“Can I do this…I wondered to myself…this will be nothing but pure taunting sexual torture and not the fun kind, mind you.”
However, after the hour-long session on the desk slowly faded into my not lover’s response of ‘I’ll try better next time.’
She stigmatized me with her family history of bigotry, bias, badly behaved state professors and unnatural affection toward family members.
On second thought, I think I can hang on for a bit longer and so I did. With a bad taste in my mouth and the scent of an unclean woman on my hands, I awaited my next assignment.

How to be Gay…the Old Fashion Way

Posted on by Standard Respond

The only thing that stays the same

Shout out to the youngin’s there have been OUT athletes long before Jason Collins.
Arthur Ashe, Billie Jean King.
Back in the day when kids were raised to go play by the open fire hydrant and/or build forts with mud and sticks, there had actually been ‘gay’ children.
Kids of many backgrounds hiding in the shadows of the straight and narrow-minded.
Raised on the gaggle of Catholicism, I learned that ‘Catholics do not start much too late. And, that only the good die young’
My Mother bless her soul watched as I struggled to come to terms with being QUEER by nearly drinking and drugging myself to death.
She glanced on knowing that if she were to intervene and push my indecisiveness too soon, it would be an end to MY ERA of questions and confusion.
There were no rainbow flags and no acronyms for uniqueness. We all unearthed our strangeness through Rita Mae Brown poetry and Indigo colored music.
Crying at night, why am I? Who am I? Who do I cling to? My models of role-playing were earth people; happy, heterosexual and oddly different from the thoughts that lay inside.

English: Snapshot of Billy Jean King during Ir...

Times were rough and they weren’t changin’ when you found difference in between the games of spin the bottle and hide n seek.
I wonder now, where did those rainbow flags come from? The closet doors that so many of my kind insist on closing by hiding behind the GLAM and SHAM of stylishly gay thoughts require me to check my history books.
Hey, kids, we were OUT long before it became the IN thing to do.

Pray through the Madness

Posted on by Standard Respond
I pray a lot about these bad feelings inside but I can't pray my way through or around it

I pray a lot about these bad feelings inside but I can’t pray my way through or around it

“…obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, but only to be broken.” by Adolf Hitler, the artist.

How hard is life really?
On a timidly tainted with humidity summer’s July day in New Hampshire…One can enter into an entirely different realm then had been their life’s destination not seconds before.
Working with canines it is nothing short than learning from the masters of loving life. I had acquired such an emotionally lucrative job on a particularly tossed with dampness July’s day.
I had been spotted and fawned over way before the entrance of my lanky blonde frame and I suppose some would call it, creeped, by a vixen tossed about by varied biased emotions on homosexuality.
Her frame slouched by an unusual attachment to her mother, outward ego covered in confusion and then painted over with gray on gray apparel. Typically, not what I am in the mood for.
Preferably I would like someone to dress up the rest of the ‘possible’ relationship not drag it down into a cellulite jungle of ‘ice cream puddles and chocolate chip wet dreams.’
The hair upon this saddened by life creature not quite dyed and not quite ready for success.
The line sprouting from my soon to be supervisor and sexually frustrated admirer?
Ambien/Annie:
“My love life is like this… beautiful ladies typically walk on by me and I never know what to say.”
WTF? Where on earth did this sexually confused and obviously misread dysfunctional come from?
I sat and not listened and learned quickly I would receive no training. My other training in the wants of a twenty-something, however, were akin to Harold and Maude.
She did her best patting the trunk of her dead Grandpa Ed’s Malibu to entice me into taking a seat with stories on homophobia,  sexual harassments,  physical harassments, the Adopt-A-Mother from Highway to Hell and the birth mother with a list of boyfriends longer than a NYC phonebook.
The poor me I’m rich. The wah, wah, wah, Daddy takes care of the bounced checks. And, the I haven’t had a good lay since I’ve been out of the closet…guess what, I’m not even out of the closet.  Were the indexes pages to a bad romance paperback book.
The drinking, the drugging, the unprotected sex with any swinging dick and Harry.
Had me choked up on resentment and lighted my way to writing a novel on deprivation and dumbing down.

Plot Line: This chic was ready, willing and able to take out anything politically correct and pull it all the way down into sex on the job with subordinates.
I wanted to be there to watch the carnage.
So, when the ‘not’ training subsided and the story began to unfold for the summer…the only thought that came to mind when she asked me to have sex with her because everyone else turned her down?

What was once your pain will be your home

What was once your pain will be your home

“you know me and Jesus we’re of the same heart The only thing that keeps us distant is that I keep fuckin up!”

So, I say, let the hunger games begin!