Category Archives: sexual identity crisis

Neanderthal Woman

Posted on by Standard 1
Battle for the Planet of the Apes

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thoughts on Ambien not so Full of Grace:
So, languidly and apologetically, I must say something. Not all twenty-somethings are the missing link to Neanderthal woman and Attack of the Fifty foot Dumbed Down Dyed Blonde.

P.S. Send Beckett Couvillion my love

P.S.
Send Beckett Couvillion my love

Not all attempt to defraud the government and profess a yearning to better the world in one false swoop of ignorant bliss.
Some pay their way through college on their dime and on their time and raise a family, sometimes with Baby Daddy, most often not.
Most do not claim indecent exposure of the plus side of life; they managed to work, volunteer, balance good with bad and cry at night once the kids are a sleep.
The handfuls of upper middle class ‘I want to be an adult…I really do!’ that live with Mum and Daddy. Rake sawdust to better the environment and pray to no higher power. These children dressed in Trazodone/Ambien disguise prey off the idea that ‘someone somewhere owes them something.’

Today there had been a beautiful woman to the likes I had never seen. She was balancing a child on one hip, scolding another child and handing out commands as though she had been running the tightest ship in the shipping business.
She gives to the local community via their needs and wants. She is proud and strong and versatile in what is given…for she and many like her know all too well what is needed.
She is a daughter to the next generation. No mother or father to pave a path of bad intentions and spoiled sexual ideation topped with gender bender idealism.
AmeriCorps VISTA, FEMA, spoilers of the spoiled brats have handed down karaoke machines, sweet drinks and open mic nights to these Romney descendants. The 1% of America that her majesty should disown. There are no nude portraits. No fingers held behind the back to which the Annie/Ambien’s speak promises with forked tongue. There is a generation out there willing to pay their fair share. Pick up the mess and gluttony of my group of wanton hippies and attempt to make the grass green again.
Why is it the privilege few are marking every leg with the scent of oblivious inadequacy? The papered in money few are soiling the lot of the working class.
Again, there are your tax dollars at work.
I suppose there is nothing we can do but POP another Ambien and hop it all goes away.

Doggin is Swingin is Bi-curious is what?

Posted on by Standard 1
Home Is Where the Hate Is

Home Is Where the Hate Is (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Things I don’t understand…

Poster for the film Swingers

Poster for the film Swingers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is a swinger called a swinger?
Back in the old, old, old days…swingers were found at swing clubs…Good to know. These coupled persons agreed that sex was sex was sex and continued on swinging from protruding limb to protruding limb.
Swingers are out however Dogging is in. Now you have Swingers taking their sexual triumphs out of the secluded private bedroom and onto the street.  Dogging is a form of out in the open for the world at large to see, public displays of sex.
Swingers are generally heterosexual! But from the looks of things…they are willing to walk a long and sexual mile to give a stranger a smile.
Of note, men called Paul and women called Catherine are the people most likely to swap sexual partners, a poll suggests. Good to note. My sister’s middle name is Catherine…I wonder if that has any deeper meaning than the obvious.

 

Is there really such a thing as bi-curious?
The term bi-curious implies that the individual has either no or limited homosexual experience in the case of “heterosexual” individuals or no or limited heterosexual experience in the case of “homosexuals”, but may continue to self-identify as bi-curious if they do not feel they have adequately explored these feelings.
This seems like a bunch of bullshit to me. However, I feel better knowing the term is being phased out by the young adults of this god forsaken land.
We are no longer to refer to someone as ‘oh, that’s just Paul…he’s no longer a swinger or a dogger…he’s bi-curious!’
If we are as politically correct as mandated by the laws of social media; proper identification is required.  So yet a new and improved term from a not so new and improved generation:
‘Paul…no, he’s not gay or bi-curious or a swinger or a dogger. He is heteroflexible.’
Again, sounds silly. And, heterosexual sounds like a very difficult yoga position.

What is a lesbian tendency?
Lesbian tendency? WTF? I never understood this.

I have a tendency for the following:
1. Using my right hand while I give someone the bird.
2. Chewing my tongue when I concentrate
3. Walking the dog when he has to go the bathroom
Tendency in its true definition means to lean towards one particular characteristic. Wouldn’t Lesbians and their tendency…just qualify as, Lesbian?
Again, strange and hard to figure out these fascinating labels and terms of injustice.
New and Avant-garde term for a woman with lesbian tendencies-

She is a twatter!!!

…Really, you don’t say?

For that matter, what truly defines, A-sexual?
Finally, we get to the clincher. The most absurd and abstract and abnormally fun term I have ever heard. And, still one I don’t quite grasp with my blonde TENDENCIES!
Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction towards the opposite sex.
This new old not sexual but really is, term,  has somehow made reappearance this century due to online chat rooms, online communities and blogs.
After exhaustive research, I’ve come to realize what I kind of knew all along. Those persons suspected of being A-Sexual take themselves far too seriously and need to get laid!

***Food for thought…why does Windows continue to upgrade on my computer. I don’t want it to. I postpone the joy as much as I can. Yet, it eventually happens. Possibly a conspiracy?

the Difference Between an Oreo & a Vanilla Wafer

Posted on by Standard 1
Walk on the Wild Side (Lou Reed song)

Walk on the Wild Side (Lou Reed song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fortunately, though I am old, I have not distanced myself from those deemed ‘young.’
Therefore, I know of which I speak.
Quick run down:
Several piercings before piercings were made accountable by the mainstream public. Several tattoos from various parts of seedy little run down towns dotting the Southeastern seaboard. Many scars of which I have been made stronger. And, a liberally maladjusted attitude in which I say, ‘does not play well with others.’
What is the difference between an Oreo and a Vanilla Wafer? Not a fuckin’ thing! What is the difference between you and I? Black and white? Gay or straight? Avant-garde or Dick and Jane?
I heard a song today in the bowels of a kennel to which I am fortunate enough to occasionally let the animals know, I’m okay your okay.  It was there I heard the old turn new again.

I asked my co-worker/nonconformist friend;
“Who the hell is that? I love that song.”
Marilyn Manson had been the answer.

Marilyn Manson in the music video for "Th...
“Oh, yes, good ole Marilyn.”
I knew someone who listened to Mr. Manson to be different for they had been straight as the edge of their not well intentioned college diploma. She dismayed me with vain stabs at conformity outside the box.


But the truly unusual have been given a bad rap since the day of the written word.
They have been the Einstein’s, the Capote’s, the Martin, Luther and John’s.
Tonight I feel like singing and listening and reveling in my uniqueness for it has given me my pride and my ‘zing’, my ying and my yang.
Marilyn is my age…go figure. Yet, he reminded me of another born unto ‘does not fit into any label’ artist; Louis Reed.
I will sit back and download Marilyn’s song and add to my music list along with Lou.
I will dunk my Oreo cookie in a big vat of milk and think:
Imagination is far more powerful than knowledge!

Dope Show

The drugs they say make us feel so hollow We love in vain narcissistic and so shallow The cops and queers to swim you have to swallow Hate today, no love for tomorrow

We’re all stars now in the dope show
We’re all stars now in the dope show

There’s a lot of pretty, pretty ones That want to get you high But all the pretty, pretty ones Will leave you low and blow your mind

We’re all stars now in the dope show
We’re all stars now in the dope show

They love you when you’re on all the covers
When you’re not then they love another

The drugs they say are made in California We love your face We’d really like to sell you The cops and queers make good-looking models I hate today Who will I wake up with tomorrow?

They love you when you’re on all the covers
When you’re not then they love another

They’ll blow your mind

We’re all stars now in the dope show
We’re all stars now in the dope show

 

Walk on the Wild Side

Holly came from Miami, Florida Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A.

Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she.

She says, “Hey, babe Take a walk on the wild side“

She said, “Hey, honey Take a walk on the wild side”

Candy came from out on the Island In the back room she was everybody’s darling.

But she never lost her head Even when she was giving head.
She says, “Hey, babe Take a walk on the wild side”

Said, “Hey, babe Take a walk on the wild side” And the colored girls go “Doo do doo do doo do do doo …”

Little Joe never once gave it away.

Everybody had to pay and pay. A hustle here and a hustle there New York City’s the place where they said, “Hey, babe Take a walk on the wild side”

I said, “Hey, Joe take a walk on the wild side”

Sugar Plum Fairy came and hit the streets.

Looking for soul food and a place to eat.

Went to the Apollo.

You should’ve seen them go, go, go.

They said, “Hey, sugar take a walk on the wild side.”

I said, “Hey, babe take a walk on the wild side.”

Jackie is just speeding away.

Thought she was James Dean for a day.

Then I guess she had to crash.

Valium would have helped that bash.

Said, “Hey, babe take a walk on the wild side.”

I said, “Hey, honey take a walk on the wild side.”
And the colored girls say
“doo do doo do doo do do doo …”

GOD BLESS THE FREAKS EVERYWHERE

An Unclean Woman in the Hand…

Posted on by Standard Respond
still waters need to be stirred...at least twice a day

still waters need to be stirred…at least twice a day

So, as summer progressed, not quite a year ago. A following and routine had transpired my dull and mundane job of reviewing bed breakfast items for a poorly run newspaper…
My once un-chaotic and patented life became transfixed on the HOMOPHOBIC lesbian undercover as my real life boss.
What was a gal to do? After all and pay attention to the details, this is how I saw things without rose-colored glasses on:
-Book about to be published, no real genre or plot for next middle of the road offering from my unpolished mind.
-Constant disdain for those who turn the worlds of others into their playground with their vain attempts of being ‘cool’.
-Never a follower, I had always stayed to the thicket and managed to veer off the road when it came to life.
-Un-politically correct in a liberal politically correct sort of way, forty years of trying to make Bless the Freaks a common household term and disavowing those with silver Ben n Jerry Ice Cream Scoops up their mindless souls had led my intentions and conflictions.

aint' much of a girlfriend...never seem to get along.

aint’ much of a girlfriend…never seem to get along.

Yup, I had been ready for the plight of the flight of the anti-hero and non avenger Ambien/Annie Grace.
Hard as it was…it really was not all that difficult to set the ball of bias formed into a twenty-two year old stout frame, rolling. The ‘edgy writer’ caught the fray of the apron string Ambien/Annie could not let go. And, well, as the saying goes, I sat back and enjoyed the ride.
The sex? Well, it was no surprize the young lass had turned other admirer’s to stone. She had no rhythm and certainly, her romantic side seemed like a bad nursery rhyme.
First time, the boss’s desk at work. Had there been any concern for ‘getting caught in the act’? Nope, I was with the boss.
Obstacle? Just one and I suffered with that particular ’pre pubescent pain’ for five months…Our young and fearless leader had only known one form of sexual position…masturbating herself into a frenzy.
One sided fuckin’ is really and quite naturally for the birds. But for the sake of the storyline I endured a lasting and constant lump in the middle of the throat. Akin to wanting to throw up but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.
The first session with the dog whisperer Ambien/Annie Grace and her companion Beckett Couvillion the third-overbred rich dog, just about knocked the wind out of my salient sails.
“Can I do this…I wondered to myself…this will be nothing but pure taunting sexual torture and not the fun kind, mind you.”
However, after the hour-long session on the desk slowly faded into my not lover’s response of ‘I’ll try better next time.’
She stigmatized me with her family history of bigotry, bias, badly behaved state professors and unnatural affection toward family members.
On second thought, I think I can hang on for a bit longer and so I did. With a bad taste in my mouth and the scent of an unclean woman on my hands, I awaited my next assignment.

Pray through the Madness

Posted on by Standard Respond
I pray a lot about these bad feelings inside but I can't pray my way through or around it

I pray a lot about these bad feelings inside but I can’t pray my way through or around it

“…obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, but only to be broken.” by Adolf Hitler, the artist.

How hard is life really?
On a timidly tainted with humidity summer’s July day in New Hampshire…One can enter into an entirely different realm then had been their life’s destination not seconds before.
Working with canines it is nothing short than learning from the masters of loving life. I had acquired such an emotionally lucrative job on a particularly tossed with dampness July’s day.
I had been spotted and fawned over way before the entrance of my lanky blonde frame and I suppose some would call it, creeped, by a vixen tossed about by varied biased emotions on homosexuality.
Her frame slouched by an unusual attachment to her mother, outward ego covered in confusion and then painted over with gray on gray apparel. Typically, not what I am in the mood for.
Preferably I would like someone to dress up the rest of the ‘possible’ relationship not drag it down into a cellulite jungle of ‘ice cream puddles and chocolate chip wet dreams.’
The hair upon this saddened by life creature not quite dyed and not quite ready for success.
The line sprouting from my soon to be supervisor and sexually frustrated admirer?
Ambien/Annie:
“My love life is like this… beautiful ladies typically walk on by me and I never know what to say.”
WTF? Where on earth did this sexually confused and obviously misread dysfunctional come from?
I sat and not listened and learned quickly I would receive no training. My other training in the wants of a twenty-something, however, were akin to Harold and Maude.
She did her best patting the trunk of her dead Grandpa Ed’s Malibu to entice me into taking a seat with stories on homophobia,  sexual harassments,  physical harassments, the Adopt-A-Mother from Highway to Hell and the birth mother with a list of boyfriends longer than a NYC phonebook.
The poor me I’m rich. The wah, wah, wah, Daddy takes care of the bounced checks. And, the I haven’t had a good lay since I’ve been out of the closet…guess what, I’m not even out of the closet.  Were the indexes pages to a bad romance paperback book.
The drinking, the drugging, the unprotected sex with any swinging dick and Harry.
Had me choked up on resentment and lighted my way to writing a novel on deprivation and dumbing down.

Plot Line: This chic was ready, willing and able to take out anything politically correct and pull it all the way down into sex on the job with subordinates.
I wanted to be there to watch the carnage.
So, when the ‘not’ training subsided and the story began to unfold for the summer…the only thought that came to mind when she asked me to have sex with her because everyone else turned her down?

What was once your pain will be your home

What was once your pain will be your home

“you know me and Jesus we’re of the same heart The only thing that keeps us distant is that I keep fuckin up!”

So, I say, let the hunger games begin!