Tag Archives: lesbian relationships

Laugh while You’re Bleeding

Posted on by Standard Respond

Woman in Mind

So it is true that the human condition…which indeed should be a plural for we have many maintained by mayhem and maladies maladjusted disorders.
We all want things we can’t have.
Young wish to grow older. The older wish to be younger. Those who are shy wish to indulge just once. Those who are jaded continue to yearn for their innocence back.
A question to pose?
If you do not try something at least once…how is it that you know it is something you do not want?
I knew I was gay from the get go. As soon as my dreams filled with Wonder Woman and I aspired to be a Charlie’s Angel…or at least, bed one down, the curtain had gone down on any lingering thoughts of heterosexuality.
Yet, try as I may, I endured several heterosexual relationships. Mostly due to the fact that the only good drug dealers around happened to be men…other than one very hair woman with sideburns named Fay.
I batted for the other team and came up with many men scratching their heads and striking out. But I tried!
So, now I know, this is really not what I want. I prefer an INSY not an OUTSY.
I lived, I learned, I listened and I went after something I didn’t have.
Some call it shameful. Many believe it to distort my truth. However, the most honest people I know have given their unanswered questions a go around. And, learned we all deserve to take the chances we see.

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child
But she’s always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she’ll never believe
And she’ll take what you give her as long as it’s free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she’s always a woman to me

[Chorus:]
Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she’ll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But she’ll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she’s always a woman to me

life only hurts when you land not when you fall

life only hurts when you land not when you fall

Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind
And she’s suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She’s nobody’s fool
But she can’t be convicted
She’s earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she’s always a woman to me

the Princess and the Lesbian

Posted on by Standard Respond
Cover of Still Life With Woodpecker, echoing t...

Cover of Still Life With Woodpecker, echoing the design of the Camel cigarette packet (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Conversation between a lesbian Lioness and a misguided by bad karma waif…current day:
Lioness:
You do not love me. You do not know what pain is! I cannot sit idly and watch as your sponge like inertia fills with society’s ideas of right or wrong!
Waif:
Duh! What does that mean…I have to stop and Google every time we argue. Just tell me…will you leave the other for me?
Lioness:
How and why would I take part of my soul…the deepest part and turn it into a fashionable date for you?
Waif:
Enough already…I’ll just go and be by myself. That’s how it was meant to be. Maybe I could volunteer to rake all the waste from the earth for VISTA!

Conversation between a princess and an outlaw:
“If I stand for fairy-tale balls and dragon bait–dragon bait–what do you stand for?”
“Me? I stand for uncertainty, insecurity, bad taste, fun, and things that go boom in the night.”
“Franky, it seems to me that you’ve turned yourself into a stereotype.”
“You may be right. I don’t care. As any car freak will tell you, the old models are the most beautiful, even if they aren’t the most efficient. People who sacrifice beauty for efficiency get what they deserve.”
“Well, you may get off on being a beautiful stereotype, regardless of the social consequences, but my conscience won’t allow it.”
“And I goddamn refuse to be dragon bait. I’m as capable of rescuing you as you are of rescuing me.”
“I’m an outlaw, not a hero. I never intended to rescue you. We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

There is never any use in putting out a helping hand when the help wanted sign has been taken down!

Ambien/Annie the C., Gracie Williams Freebush

nothing like an undisciplined and untamed animal

nothing like an undisciplined and untamed animal

An Unclean Woman in the Hand…

Posted on by Standard Respond
still waters need to be stirred...at least twice a day

still waters need to be stirred…at least twice a day

So, as summer progressed, not quite a year ago. A following and routine had transpired my dull and mundane job of reviewing bed breakfast items for a poorly run newspaper…
My once un-chaotic and patented life became transfixed on the HOMOPHOBIC lesbian undercover as my real life boss.
What was a gal to do? After all and pay attention to the details, this is how I saw things without rose-colored glasses on:
-Book about to be published, no real genre or plot for next middle of the road offering from my unpolished mind.
-Constant disdain for those who turn the worlds of others into their playground with their vain attempts of being ‘cool’.
-Never a follower, I had always stayed to the thicket and managed to veer off the road when it came to life.
-Un-politically correct in a liberal politically correct sort of way, forty years of trying to make Bless the Freaks a common household term and disavowing those with silver Ben n Jerry Ice Cream Scoops up their mindless souls had led my intentions and conflictions.

aint' much of a girlfriend...never seem to get along.

aint’ much of a girlfriend…never seem to get along.

Yup, I had been ready for the plight of the flight of the anti-hero and non avenger Ambien/Annie Grace.
Hard as it was…it really was not all that difficult to set the ball of bias formed into a twenty-two year old stout frame, rolling. The ‘edgy writer’ caught the fray of the apron string Ambien/Annie could not let go. And, well, as the saying goes, I sat back and enjoyed the ride.
The sex? Well, it was no surprize the young lass had turned other admirer’s to stone. She had no rhythm and certainly, her romantic side seemed like a bad nursery rhyme.
First time, the boss’s desk at work. Had there been any concern for ‘getting caught in the act’? Nope, I was with the boss.
Obstacle? Just one and I suffered with that particular ’pre pubescent pain’ for five months…Our young and fearless leader had only known one form of sexual position…masturbating herself into a frenzy.
One sided fuckin’ is really and quite naturally for the birds. But for the sake of the storyline I endured a lasting and constant lump in the middle of the throat. Akin to wanting to throw up but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.
The first session with the dog whisperer Ambien/Annie Grace and her companion Beckett Couvillion the third-overbred rich dog, just about knocked the wind out of my salient sails.
“Can I do this…I wondered to myself…this will be nothing but pure taunting sexual torture and not the fun kind, mind you.”
However, after the hour-long session on the desk slowly faded into my not lover’s response of ‘I’ll try better next time.’
She stigmatized me with her family history of bigotry, bias, badly behaved state professors and unnatural affection toward family members.
On second thought, I think I can hang on for a bit longer and so I did. With a bad taste in my mouth and the scent of an unclean woman on my hands, I awaited my next assignment.

The Past Can be Redone?

Posted on by Standard Respond
I've fallen I have sunk so low

I’ve fallen I have sunk so low

I’m not really sad…I don’t know what I am
I would get scared because a long distance relationship is easier than a hard fought relationship with someone closer to home. Penny, from Texas, wasn’t a prize but I didn’t mind because distance hurts less if something happened and my bigoted Mother found fewer things to dislike about me.
I think I feel remorse over that loss because she was like a security blanket!
FOREVER ANSWER FROM PSYCHO BITCH KATE:

“We will never be together that’s just how it is going to be. You knew that when this whole thing started.”

Study lesson for Ambien/Annie Grace handed down by above mentioned wiser and obviously more literate older girlfriend:
Codependent-we all look for someone to take care of us. Some of us don’t grow though, when we stop taking care of ourselves.

SAME OLD, SAME OLD, Ambien/Annie hiding from the truth:
“Be right back…I need sugar”

NEXT PATENTED ADULT RESPONSE:
“Let me know when you have had enough of her and we can go from there. I am married and you’re attached to a heterosexual who doesn’t like you touching her. And, honestly, you’re fuckin’ her and she’s fuckin’ cowboys down in Texas…I don’t need that kind of disease in my life.”

And, the truth, the truth…is usually somewhere in the middle of all the sadness the being with and around Ambien/Annie Grace brings:
“It saddens me when you let these women who love you in some strange ways, your mother’s homophobia and Penny’s heterosexuality, run your life and your emotions.
So, all I get to do is stand back and watch you hurt yourself over and over and over again. Physically, mentally, with drugs and booze and sometimes it gets difficult to watch.”

A sad and still abstract sage saying I’ve yet to figure out:

Love is always worth fighting for. That is why it is LOVE. If you didn’t have to fight for it…it would be called, like.

Indeed, at twenty-two, I am still that sad little girl who wasn’t allowed to play with people below my parent’s economic standing.

We are our own lies.

We are our own lies.

Heaven bent to take my hand and lead me through the fire be the long awaited answer to a long and painful fight
Truth be told I’ve tried my best but somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer and the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I’ve tried, I’ve fallen I have sunk so low I’ve messed up better I should know so don’t come ’round here And tell me I told you so
We all begin with good intent Love was raw and young we believed that we could change ourselves the past can be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden time always reveals in the lonely light of morning in the wound that would not heal it’s the bitter taste of losing everything, I’ve held so dear
I’ve fallen I have sunk so low I’ve messed up better I should know so don’t come ’round here And tell me I told you so
Heaven bent to take my hand I have nowhere left to turn I’ve lost to those I thought were friends to everyone I know
Oh, they turned their heads embarrassed Pretend that they don’t see but its one missed step, you’ll slip before you know it and there doesn’t seem a way to be redeemed
Though I’ve tried, I’ve fallen I have sunk so low I’ve messed up better I should know so don’t come ’round here And tell me I told you so, no
I’ve messed up better I should know but don’t come ’round here and tell me I told you so

SARAH MCLACHLAN – FALLEN LYRICS

Stop Making Sense

Posted on by Standard Respond

the human heart...will keep beating long after the soul is gone

the human heart will keep beating long after the soul is gone

the human heart will keep beating long after the soul is gone

Social Media has done nothing for me. Facebook has betrayed me once again. And, it will over and over and over, fuck, tagging!
I, as many my age do, have a vast array of ways to communicate via cyberspace, broken English, fancy electronic devices with no real meaning to them…Same as their owners!
Therefore, to turn the tables a Facebook Non Fan page should be set up.
Not one blowing smoke up some parent’s ass about how wonderfully conforming their child is while volunteering to change America. No one that possesses every detail, angle, lightness of being and season of the NH White birch and Gracing Photography widget and word that I can find!
No this one would be different.
Warning! Beware! Use Caution! Call the authorities! Make a citizen arrest if you have to.
Then a picture of the deviant in question: a tall blonde, older in chronological age but not noticeably so by outward appearances. Athletic in build and egotistical to the touch with a hint of serenity in the air that looms above her.
A further description would follow said picture.
Has been known to set up romantic interludes in order to promote sense of self and publicize her books and writings. She typically will seem harmless though she will tell you, she is an asshole and never claimed to be nice.
Do not, I repeat, do not, fall for that line. Everyone captured under the spell of her illusions and gift for flirtation will believe her to be…just joking.
This tall dictator blonde with a black widow’s soul will throw her victims off track by offering up a lack of sexual prowl-ness. A need to find someone that understands her. She will most likely trick you into believing you are indeed, her, only love one.
In the depths of her deprived soul she will leave you little tidbits semi unmasking her true meaning.
The countless affairs, the sobriety, the conversations about needing to never be alone and again, most young victims will be left with no choice but a wanting to believe.
To believe that this vixen will change, after all these years of unadulterated sexual romps in the woods, just for them, the new victim of the week.
At the bottom of the Not Fan Facebook page a long list of previous fools that fell under the spell will be scripted and a reward of retroactive karma will be offered if this bitch is captured in her native habitat.
In ending, her native habitat will be given a locale. New Hampshire, little whole in the wall room, books covering the ceiling to the floor and a blonde posed poetically in thought.
The thought being? I never said I was nice.